The Crying of Lot 49 Page 5

  “Hey, blokes,” yelled Dean or perhaps Serge, “let’s pinch a boat.”

  “Hear, hear,” cried the girls. Metzger closed his eyes and tripped over an old anchor. “Why are you walking around,” inquired Oedipa, “with your eyes closed, Metzger?”

  “Larceny,” Metzger said, “maybe they’ll need a lawyer.” A snarl rose along with some smoke from among pleasure boats strung like piglets along the pier, indicating the Paranoids had indeed started someone’s outboard. “Come on, then,” they called. Suddenly, a dozen boats away, a form, covered with a blue polyethylene tarp, rose up and said, “Baby Igor, I need help.”

  “I know that voice,” said Metzger.

  “Quick,” said the blue tarp, “let me hitch a ride with you guys.”

  “Hurry, hurry,” called the Paranoids.

  “Manny Di Presso,” said Metzger, seeming less than delighted.

  “Your actor/lawyer friend,” Oedipa recalled.

  “Not so loud, hey,” said Di Presso, skulking as best a polyethylene cone can along the landing towards them. “They’re watching. With binoculars.” Metzger handed Oedipa aboard the about-to-be-hijacked vessel, a 17-foot aluminum trimaran known as the “Godzilla II,” and gave Di Presso what he intended to be a hand also, but he had grabbed, it seemed, only empty plastic, and when he pulled, the entire covering came away and there stood Di Presso, in a skin-diving suit and wraparound shades.

  “I can explain,” he said.

  “Hey,” yelled a couple voices, faintly, almost in unison, from up the beach a ways. A squat man with a crew cut, intensely tanned and also with shades, came out in the open running, one arm doubled like a wing with the hand at chest level, inside the jacket.

  “Are we on camera?” asked Metzger dryly.

  “This is real,” chattered Di Presso, “come on.” The Paranoids cast off, backed the “Godzilla II” out from the pier, turned and with a concerted whoop took off like a bat out of hell, nearly sending Di Presso over the fantail. Oedipa, looking back, could see their pursuer had been joined by another man about the same build. Both wore gray suits. She couldn’t see if they were holding anything like guns.

  “I left my car on the other side of the lake,” Di Presso said, “but I know he has somebody watching.”

  “Who does,” Metzger asked.

  “Anthony Giunghierrace,” replied ominous Di Presso, “alias Tony Jaguar.”

  “Who?”

  “Eh, sfacim’,” shrugged Di Presso, and spat into their wake. The Paranoids were singing, to the tune of “Adeste Fideles”:

  Hey, solid citizen, we just pinched your bo-oat,

  Hey, solid citizen, we just pinched your boat . . .

  grabassing around, trying to push each other over the side. Oedipa cringed out of the way and watched Di Presso. If he had really played the part of Metzger in a TV pilot film as Metzger claimed, the casting had been typically Hollywood: they didn’t look or act a bit alike.

  “So,” said Di Presso, “who’s Tony Jaguar. Very big in Cosa Nostra, is who.”

  “You’re an actor,” said Metzger. “How are you in with them?”

  “I’m a lawyer again,” Di Presso said. “That pilot will never be bought, Metz, not unless you go out and do something really Darrowlike, spectacular. Arouse public interest, maybe with a sensational defense.”

  “Like what.”

  “Like win the litigation I’m bringing against the estate of Pierce Inverarity.” Metzger, as much as cool Metzger could, goggled. Di Presso laughed and punched Metzger in the shoulder. “That’s right, good buddy.”

  “Who wants what? You better talk to the other executor too.” He introduced Oedipa, Di Presso tipping his shades politely. The air suddenly went cold, the sun was blotted out. The three looked up in alarm to see looming over them and about to collide the pale green social hall, its towering pointed windows, wrought-iron floral embellishments, solid silence, air somehow of waiting for them. Dean, the Paranoid at the helm, brought the boat around neatly to a small wooden dock, everybody got out, Di Presso heading nervously for an outside staircase. “I want to check on my car,” he said. Oedipa and Metzger, carrying picnic stuff, followed up the stairs, along a balcony, out of the building’s shadow, up a metal ladder finally to the roof. It was like walking on the head of a drum: they could hear their reverberations inside the hollow building beneath, and the delighted yelling of the Paranoids. Di Presso, Scuba suit glistening, scrambled up the side of a cupola. Oedipa spread a blanket and poured booze into cups made of white, crushed, plastic foam. “It’s still there,” said Di Presso, descending. “I ought to make a run for it.”

  “Who’s your client?” asked Metzger, holding out a tequila sour.

  “Fellow who’s chasing me,” allowed Di Presso, holding the cup between his teeth so it covered his nose and looking at them, arch.

  “You run from clients?” Oedipa asked. “You flee ambulances?”

  “He’s been trying to borrow money,” Di Presso said, “since I told him I couldn’t get an advance against any settlement in this suit.”

  “You’re all ready to lose, then,” she said.

  “My heart isn’t in it,” Di Presso admitted, “and if I can’t even keep up payments on that XKE I bought while temporarily insane, how can I lend money?”

  “Over 30 years,” Metzger snorted, “that’s temporary.”

  “I’m not so crazy I don’t know trouble,” Di Presso said, “and Tony J. is in it, friends. Gambling mostly, also talk he’s been up to show cause to the local Table why he shouldn’t be in for some discipline there. That kind of grief I do not need.”

  Oedipa glared. “You’re a selfish schmuck.”

  “All the time Cosa Nostra is watching,” soothed Metzger, “watching. It does not do to be seen helping those the organization does not want helped.”

  “I have relatives in Sicily,” said Di Presso, in comic broken English. Paranoids and their chicks appeared against the bright sky, from behind turrets, gables, ventilating ducts, and moved in on the eggplant sandwiches in the basket. Metzger sat on the jug of booze so they couldn’t get any. The wind had risen.

  “Tell me about the lawsuit,” Metzger said, trying with both hands to keep his hair in place.

  “You’ve been into Inverarity’s books,” Di Presso said. “You know the Beaconsfield filter thing.” Metzger made a noncommittal moue.

  “Bone charcoal,” Oedipa remembered.

  “Yeah, well Tony Jaguar, my client, supplied some bones,” said Di Presso, “he alleges. Inverarity never paid him. That’s what it’s about.”

  “Offhand,” Metzger said, “it doesn’t sound like Inverarity. He was scrupulous about payments like that. Unless it was a bribe. I only did his legal tax deductions, so I wouldn’t have seen it if it was. What construction firm did your client work for?”

  “Construction firm,” squinted Di Presso.

  Metzger looked around. The Paranoids and their chicks may have been out of earshot. “Human bones, right?” Di Presso nodded yes. “All right, that’s how he got them. Different highway outfits in the area, ones Inverarity had bought into, they got the contracts. All drawn up in most kosher fashion, Manfred. If there was payola in there, I doubt it got written down.”

  “How,” inquired Oedipa, “are road builders in any position to sell bones, pray?”

  “Old cemeteries have to be ripped up,” Metzger explained. “Like in the path of the East San Narciso Freeway, it had no right to be there, so we just barrelled on through, no sweat.”

  “No bribes, no freeways,” Di Presso shaking his head. “These bones came from Italy. A straight sale. Some of them,” waving out at the lake, “are down there, to decorate the bottom for the Scuba nuts. That’s what I’ve been doing today, examining the goods in dispute. Till Tony started chasing, anyway. T
he rest of the bones were used in the R&D phase of the filter program, back around the early ’50’s, way before cancer. Tony Jaguar says he harvested them all from the bottom of Lago di Pietà.”

  “My God,” Metzger said, soon as this name registered. “GI’s?”

  “About a company,” said Manny Di Presso. Lago di Pietà was near the Tyrrhenian coast, somewhere between Naples and Rome, and had been the scene of a now ignored (in 1943 tragic) battle of attrition in a minor pocket developed during the advance on Rome. For weeks, a handful of American troops, cut off and without communications, huddled on the narrow shore of the clear and tranquil lake while from the cliffs that tilted vertiginously over the beach Germans hit them day and night with plunging, enfilading fire. The water of the lake was too cold to swim: you died of exposure before you could reach any safe shore. There were no trees to build rafts with. No planes came over except an occasional Stuka with strafing in mind. It was remarkable that so few men held out so long. They dug in as far as the rocky beach would let them; they sent small raids up the cliffs that mostly never came back, but did succeed in taking out a machine-gun, once. Patrols looked for routes out, but those few that returned had found nothing. They did what they could to break out; failing, they clung to life as long as they could. But they died, every one, dumbly, without a trace or a word. One day the Germans came down from the cliffs, and their enlisted men put all the bodies that were on the beach into the lake, along with what weapons and other materiel were no longer of use to either side. Presently the bodies sank; and stayed where they were till the early ’50’s, when Tony Jaguar, who’d been a corporal in an Italian outfit attached to the German force at Lago di Pietà and knew about what was at the bottom, decided along with some colleagues to see what he could salvage. All they managed to come up with was bones. Out of some murky train of reasoning, which may have included the observed fact that American tourists, beginning then to be plentiful, would pay good dollars for almost anything; and stories about Forest Lawn and the American cult of the dead; possibly some dim hope that Senator McCarthy, and others of his persuasion, in those days having achieved a certain ascendancy over the rich cretini from across the sea, would some-how refocus attention on the fallen of WW II, especially ones whose corpses had never been found; out of some such labyrinth of assumed motives, Tony Jaguar decided he could surely unload his harvest of bones on some American someplace, through his contacts in the “family,” known these days as Cosa Nostra. He was right. An import-export firm bought the bones, sold them to a fertilizer enterprise, which may have used one or two femurs for laboratory tests but eventually decided to phase entirely into menhaden instead and transferred the remaining several tons to a holding company, which stored them in a warehouse outside of Fort Wayne, Indiana, for maybe a year before Beaconsfield got interested.

  “Aha,” Metzger leaped. “So it was Beaconsfield bought them. Not Inverarity. The only shares he held were in Osteolysis, Inc., the company they set up to develop the filter. Never in Beaconsfield itself.”

  “You know, blokes,” remarked one of the girls, a long-waisted, brown-haired lovely in a black knit leotard and pointed sneakers, “this all has a most bizarre resemblance to that ill, ill Jacobean revenge play we went to last week.”

  “The Courier’s Tragedy,” said Miles, “she’s right. The same kind of kinky thing, you know. Bones of lost battalion in lake, fished up, turned into charcoal—”

  “They’ve been listening,” screamed Di Presso, “those kids. All the time, somebody listens in, snoops; they bug your apartment, they tap your phone—”

  “But we don’t repeat what we hear,” said another girl. “None of us smoke Beaconsfields anyway. We’re all on pot.” Laughter. But no joke: for Leonard the drummer now reached into the pocket of his beach robe and produced a fistful of marijuana cigarettes and distributed them among his chums. Metzger closed his eyes, turned his head, muttering, “Possession.”

  “Help,” said Di Presso, looking back with a wild eye and open mouth across the lake. Another runabout had appeared and was headed toward them. Two figures in gray suits crouched behind its windshield. “Metz, I’m running for it. If he stops by here don’t bully him, he’s my client.” And he disappeared down the ladder. Oedipa with a sigh collapsed on her back and stared through the wind at the empty blue sky. Soon she heard the “Godzilla II” starting up.

  “Metzger,” it occurred to her, “he’s taking the boat? We’re marooned.”

  So they were, until well after the sun had set and Miles, Dean, Serge and Leonard and their chicks, by holding up the glowing roaches of their cigarettes like a flipcard section at a football game to spell out alternate S’s and O’s, attracted the attention of the Fangoso Lagoons Security Force, a garrison against the night made up of one-time cowboy actors and L. A. motorcycle cops. The time in between had been whiled away with songs by the Paranoids, and juicing, and feeding pieces of eggplant sandwich to a flock of not too bright seagulls who’d mistaken Fangoso Langoons for the Pacific, and hearing the plot of The Courier’s Tragedy, by Richard Wharfinger, related near to unintelligible by eight memories unlooping progressively into regions as strange to map as their rising coils and clouds of pot smoke. It got so confusing that next day Oedipa decided to go see the play itself, and even conned Metzger into taking her.

  The Courier’s Tragedy was being put on by a San Narciso group known as the Tank Players, the Tank being a small arena theater located out between a traffic analysis firm and a wildcat transistor outfit that hadn’t been there last year and wouldn’t be this coming but meanwhile was underselling even the Japanese and hauling in loot by the steamshovelful. Oedipa and a reluctant Metzger came in on only a partly-filled house. Attendance did not swell by the time the play started. But the costumes were gorgeous and the lighting imaginative, and though the words were all spoken in Transplanted Middle Western Stage British, Oedipa found herself after five minutes sucked utterly into the landscape of evil Richard Wharfinger had fashioned for his 17th-century audiences, so preapocalyptic, death-wishful, sensually fatigued, unprepared, a little poignantly, for that abyss of civil war that had been waiting, cold and deep, only a few years ahead of them.

  Angelo, then, evil Duke of Squamuglia, has perhaps ten years before the play’s opening murdered the good Duke of adjoining Faggio, by poisoning the feet on an image of Saint Narcissus, Bishop of Jerusalem, in the court chapel, which feet the Duke was in the habit of kissing every Sunday at Mass. This enables the evil illegitimate son, Pasquale, to take over as regent for his half-brother Niccolò, the rightful heir and good guy of the play, till he comes of age. Pasquale of course has no intention of letting him live so long. Being in thick with the Duke of Squamuglia, Pasquale plots to do away with young Niccolò by suggesting a game of hide-and-seek and then finessing him into crawling inside of an enormous cannon, which a henchman is then to set off, hopefully blowing the child, as Pasquale recalls ruefully, later on in the third act,

  Out in a bloody rain to feed our fields

  Amid the Maenad roar of nitre’s song

  And sulfur’s cantus firmus.

  Ruefully, because the henchman, a likable schemer named Ercole, is secretly involved with dissident elements in the court of Faggio who want to keep Niccolò alive, and so he contrives to stuff a young goat into the cannon instead, meanwhile smuggling Niccolò out of the ducal palace disguised as an elderly procuress.

  This comes out in the first scene, as Niccolò confides his history to a friend, Domenico. Niccolò is at this point grown up, hanging around the court of his father’s murderer, Duke Angelo, and masquerading as a special courier of the Thurn and Taxis family, who at the time held a postal monopoly throughout most of the Holy Roman Empire. What he is trying to do, ostensibly, is develop a new market, since the evil Duke of Squamuglia has steadfastly refused, even with the lower rates and faster service of the Thurn and Taxis system, to employ any but his own m
essengers in communicating with his stooge Pasquale over in neighboring Faggio. The real reason Niccolò is waiting around is of course to get a crack at the Duke.

  Evil Duke Angelo, meanwhile, is scheming to amalgamate the duchies of Squamuglia and Faggio, by marrying off the only royal female available, his sister Francesca, to Pasquale the Faggian usurper. The only obstacle in the way of this union is that Francesca is Pasquale’s mother—her illicit liaison with the good ex-Duke of Faggio being one reason Angelo had him poisoned to begin with. There is an amusing scene where Francesca delicately seeks to remind her brother of the social taboos against incest. They seem to have slipped her mind, replies Angelo, during the ten years he and Francesca have been having their affair. Incest or no, the marriage must be; it is vital to his long-range political plans. The Church will never sanction it, says Francesca. So, says Duke Angelo, I will bribe a cardinal. He has begun feeling his sister up and nibbling at her neck; the dialogue modulates into the fevered figures of intemperate desire, and the scene ends with the couple collapsing onto a divan.

  The act itself closes with Domenico, to whom the naïve Niccolò started it off by spilling his secret, trying to get in to see Duke Angelo and betray his dear friend. The Duke, of course, is in his apartment busy knocking off a piece, and the best Domenico can do is an administrative assistant who turns out to be the same Ercole who once saved the life of young Niccolò and aided his escape from Faggio. This he presently confesses to Domenico, though only after having enticed that informer into foolishly bending over and putting his head into a curious black box, on the pretext of showing him a pornographic diorama. A steel vise promptly clamps onto the faithless Domenico’s head and the box muffles his cries for help. Ercole binds his hands and feet with scarlet silk cords, lets him know who it is he’s run afoul of, reaches into the box with a pair of pincers, tears out Domenico’s tongue, stabs him a couple times, pours into the box a beaker of aqua regia, enumerates a list of other goodies, including castration, that Domenico will undergo before he’s allowed to die, all amid screams, tongueless attempts to pray, agonized struggles from the victim. With the tongue impaled on his rapier Ercole runs to a burning torch set in the wall, sets the tongue aflame and waving it around like a madman concludes the act by screaming,